


I'll let you go

by cosmbin



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:14:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28609650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmbin/pseuds/cosmbin
Summary: I thought that was an end but maybe fate had different plans for me.“You’re not alone, Ash. I’m with you. My soul is always with you.” Perhaps that was the reason that my soul lived even though my body was long gone.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Ibe Akira & Okumura Eiji
Comments: 3
Kudos: 57





	I'll let you go

**Author's Note:**

> I really love banana fish and even though the ending was too sad, yet I believe Yoshida has actually offered us one of the best endings. The story is simply Ash's p.o.v from garden of words and your can see the similar dialogues and scenes from the manga here. I know this is not one of the best work out there but I hope you guys like it.

“when I think of my own death, I try to picture that leopard’s carcass. Climbing higher and higher until he sed up all his strength and collapsed? I think about which way the carcass was facing… was he trying to get back down, or trying to climb higher? Either way, that leopard knew… that he would never be going back.” at that time I might have not realized what was going through the leopard’s mind but as I sat in library, reading his letter knowing if I don’t hurry I might even lose my life, I think I realized what was going through that leopard’s mind. I smiled reading Eiji’s words. They were beautiful, he did his best in pouring out all his thoughts. He made me feel loved. And just like that I accepted my fate and had let the deep slumber swallow me whole.

I thought that was an end but maybe fate had different plans for me. 

“You’re not alone, Ash. I’m with you. My soul is always with you.” Perhaps that was the reason that my soul lived even though my body was long gone. I could hear what others had to say. I could hear your cries, but you could never hear me comfort you. I could see Sing blame himself but he could never see me standing in front of him, telling him it was never his fault. You were alone so I caressed your cheek, to you it was a soft wind that had passed by, but, to me that touch was enough to keep me going. You were all I needed, and it was the same for you. 

Ten years had already passed yet I was there holding onto you. Sing believed you had changed after my death. Surely you never went anywhere near the library, and you never visited the places we’d been to together, but deep down I knew, you were the same, you still were the Eiji I had fallen in love with. Then the little girl came into your life. Anyone could tell she adored you, I wonder if you noticed that. Akira meant dawn, you said you knew someone else who’s name meant the same. I smiled knowing it was me you were talking about, but Sing never smiled.

“Was Ash beautiful?” I laughed at the question she asked, she was surely a sweet kid. The question itself wasn’t complicated, yet for some reason Sing held the emotion on his face which was hard to decipher. “so beautiful you could hardly believe it.” He continued and Akira’s lips curved into a frown. She loved you and everything about her love was pure.

“Let Eiji go now.” His words kept ringing in my ears even after he was done speaking. I was holding you back? It couldn’t be true right? “if you don’t let him go, he’ll never be happy.” Though his words seemed that of frustration, but I could sense the guilt, and worry he tried to hide even though he was alone. I love you but was this love only holding you back from living happily? 

You three went to cape cod together. It was beautiful and you talked about me to Akira, I felt at peace hearing you say my name after several years, and the ache I felt all this time seemed to subside. But suddenly a pang of guilt had hit me when I saw you run towards a man. “I thought you were a friend of mine.” I could feel the disappointment and pain in your voice. You knew I would never come back yet you ran after that person thinking it was me. So, was Sing actually right when he said I was holding you back?  
“there was one signal I ignored. And that was yours sing. I pretended not to hear it.” We both knew what you were talking about. And even though sing tried to tell you otherwise, you knew sing had been suffering all along and you had to finally put him at ease, so that’s what you did. you made sure to put all your thoughts out, and I stood there watching as both of you slowly took the burden off yourselves one by one. “I’ll never forget Ash.” You said my name, I was paying all my attention to what you were saying but still had an uneasy feeling which somehow was making me hesitant to listen, yet I shrugged that aside and listened to what you had to say. “I’d never want to forget him. But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy or that I’ll never be happy again.” I wanted to pull myself away, I didn’t want to hear what you had to say anymore but I couldn’t, and so I stood there listening to your words which seemed like goodbye to me. “I’m just grateful and proud that I got to spend at least a short while in the company of that brilliant, miraculous life force.” You didn’t know I was there right beside you, still your words seemed like we have to finally part our ways. 

So now I stand here with you. You finally took my pictures out. Those were best memories I had made in my life. In fact, the moments I had spent with you were the best moments of my entire life. But now I had to say goodbye to it all. You cried looking at the pictures, you’ve been holding it in all this time but I still felt an ache. I hugged you, even though you couldn’t tell it was me but, in my case, this touch was enough now that I was finally parting my way with you. I still remember the word you had taught me, for me it only seemed to bring pain but for once I wanted it to hold a beautiful meaning in our relationship. I take in your picture in my mind, you’ve come so far, I’m proud of you. I wish you live happily now that I'm letting go of you Eiji. "sayonara."


End file.
